Dear government officials,

It has recently come to my attention that you have decided to remove door-to-door postal service and install boxes for every street. While I understand that you are cheap and would rather spend our tax dollars on new idiotic ways to “save money”, I feel that as a concerned citizen I must point out the stupidity of this endeavor. You seem to have forgotten, while your heads were so snuggly shoved up your asses, that most of your citizens are human, and therefore they are not likely going to adapt to this new way of receiving their mail. In fact, this new system you are imposing on us is likely to cause YOU more trouble in the long run. Let me explain.

You seem to think that installing these boxes will be no less convenient than paying a postal worker to bring our mail to our door. This is a fallacy that needs to be addressed immediately. It will be highly inconvenient, mostly because in removing the delivery service, we will be expected to go to the end of the street to get our mail. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but not everyone is going to want to do this every day, especially if their designated box happens to be on the opposite end of the street on their route home from work. Likewise, not everyone will be willing to go out on their days off, regardless of the temperature outside or if it is raining/snowing just to check their mailboxes. This is not simply a case of a few lazy people, but a matter of convenience. If the mailbox is not on a person’s direct route home, they are not likely to remember to check it. Take for example people living in apartments that have more than one entryway. Logic dictates that if a resident’s apartment happens to be closer to an entrance that is furthest from the mailbox, they are going to bypass it without a thought. They are also more likely to use “their” entrance into the building simply because it is the shortest route to their dwelling. In this case, unless the resident is expecting an important letter or parcel, they are not likely to take the “long way” around to stop off at the mailboxes.

The argument you are likely to pose is that one should check daily because there could be bills that need to promptly be paid, and you are partially right. However the problem with your logic is that twenty years ago this would be true; now, it is not. Most people have moved on from paper bills to the more convenient and earth-friendly options of online bill payment and online statements, and therefore they receive far less mail than they used to. So if most of the population is receiving 90% of their mail electronically, then it stands to reason that their boxes will be ignored 90% of the time, and checked only when something deemed important to them (such as a magazine subscription, parcel, or letter) is to be expected to arrive. Even then, we now have a tracking system that will alert us when a parcel is on its way, which means that the mailbox will likely only be checked that same day.

I am sure you are beginning to realize that changing the system could cause YOU some problems. You see, right now the mail is visible to your populace; they cannot bypass their front doors without seeing their mailboxes are full or empty. If they notice a letter sticking out, they take it inside. If it is from the government, they will open it immediately upon reception. However, if you place that same letter in a box that people will only check 10% of the time, then that letter could go unnoticed for weeks, received only when your citizens are actively waiting for something else to arrive. This means that anything you send, be it a census or referendum, or any other document your intended audience is not expecting, it might not reach your recipient in time to complete whichever survey or questionnaire that you sent out. If it was time sensitive, your recipient is now too late to reply.

Do not think you could gain information by telephoning them at a later date. Many people now have Call ID and use their cellular phones. They do not answer calls they do not recognize, which is why you might want to stop using an automated call service and leave voicemail messages if it really is important that you contact us. Email is just as ineffective because 90% of electronic mail goes unread in a person’s inbox; in fact, since 90% of it is spam from various groups of which an individual could belong to, most email accounts can go unchecked for as long as 90 days or even longer. Most electronic statements for billing can be accessed from the holder’s account with that provider, meaning that if someone wants to know the exact owing balance on their cell phone account, they can go to the provider’s website and look it up. Since this is a more accurate way of knowing how much is owed on an account (because billing dates don’t reflect payments made after the cut-off), very few of us are likely to check our email for electronic statements either. As for letting us know through media outlets that you are sending us all something and we need to check our boxes, that will also fail to reach all of us because anyone born in the late 70s/early 80s and over will tell you that they don’t keep up with ALL the current events. Most of your voters in their 20s and 30s do not watch the news on a regular basis, or they pvr it and skip ahead to the parts that most interest them. More than likely, they will only read headlines and articles on a news website that catch their attention through other sources such as Facebook; and even then, not everyone checks their social media accounts every day.

Do you now understand why your new system is inherently flawed? By removing door-to-door postal service, you are creating a mentality of “out of sight, out of mind” with your populace, and that in turn will cause YOU a great deal of problems in the future. How are you going to contact your citizens if you make the only means of reliable communication more inconvenient? It is foolish to think that your citizens will simply adapt to not having their mail delivered to their door and will happily walk to the end of the street each day to check their mail. It is foolish to think that anyone under the age of 50 is going to think to check their mail at all if they don’t think there is anything worth checking for. And if we don’t SEE that brown envelope sticking out of our boxes in front of our doors, how are we to know that you wish to inform us on anything? How are we to know when you’re asking for another tax, or to vote on something, or to complete a survey? The answer is that we won’t. We won’t know because we won’t be going out of our way to check a box at the end of the street each day, or even weekly. We won’t know and we won’t lose sleep over not knowing, because we have grown up in an age of convenience and technology. We get our news from the internet and only pay attention to the interesting articles. We have Call ID to filter out any calls that we are not expecting because we can’t be bothered to entertain the whims of telemarketers. The only thing left to us, that we cannot filter out or ignore, is the mail that piles up by our front door.

I hope you reconsider your decision on this matter.

Sincerely,

a concerned taxpayer

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